New Haven Line Monday 7:07 PM March 5, 2008

I spent my ride home this evening wishing the two salt and pepper haired gentlemen in front of me would bump heads. Sitting across the aisle from one another, they are both nodding off and leaning into the aisle and towards each other. They come within inches and then snap back to consciousness bobbing upright again. Then the lean starts all over again. Closer, closer, all most there. I think hairs touched this time, but once again upright just before contact. Damn, all I want in the world right now is for these two guys to violently crash into each other. It is so frustrating. Well here comes the first stop and the guy on the right is waking up. Alas, once again I go unsatisfied.

New Haven Line Thursday February 21st 7:34 PM

If you pick your nose on the train, Miss Polly Jean Perssimmons will call you on it. In the seat behind me Miss Polly corrects a 50ish business man in her prigish way for clearing a little nose lode from his left nostril. "You are a rude and disgusting man." She states rather plainly. "Pardon me?" He asks innocently. "You know what I am talking about. You are rude and gross and have no right doing that in public. You make me sick." She replys. "Honestly ma'am, I have no idea what you are referring to." He calmly retorts, but there is an edge of uncertainty there that those of us within earshot suspect he may know more than he is letting on. "Don't you have a tissue or something?" Polly offers. "Ma'am please mind your own business." Now he is cornered and ready to fight his way out. "It is my business because I have to sit next to you." Polly is not quelled that simply. "Just read your stupid magazine and shut up." The business man has all but admitted his faux pas. Now he can only hope to bully this woman into submission. "Learn some manners and be less disgusting and I will." The business man makes a sound that is not words, but does express his exasperation. I am sure he feels that was the last word, but Polly knows better. So beware pickers and biters, those with gas and other body odors. Polly is riding the commuter rails and is not shy about pointing out your habits and short comings.