Wednesday, September 12, 2007

Metro North April 25th 8:11PM


Henry was the worst hit man in the family. Riding the train to the city was not only embarassing but also inconvenient. He was also somewhat of a spectacle compared to his fellow passengers because he insisted on wearing a jet black suit with a blood red tie and four point hankerchef. What was the point of being a gangster if you did not dress the part? He shined his shoes every morning and dreaded the ride into the city. He shaved and trimmed his moustache each morning and hoped everything was running on time. So far the bosses have turned a blind eye to his transportation issues, but one mistake would probably change all that. Today might just have been that day as mechanical problems have led to a 3 hour delay. Hopefully his target is still peacefully unaware of his pending fate still snoozing in room 2314 of the W Hotel in Union Square. If not it will a long ride back to Darien this evening.

On the 6 Train September 10th 11:10PM

Someone has pissed in a snack size Wise potato chip bag and set it upright on the seat. The train lurched just after 14th street, as it does, and the bag tipped over spilling urine all along the seat wetting the pants of several riders. Some slightly as they sprung up realizing what was happening and others more so as they slumbered. Now before you call me "a glass is half empty" kind of guy and challenge the actual content of the bag as possibly lemonade or Tropical Citrus Energy Vitamin Water, mark my words it was urine and the provider of the specimen needs to drink more liquids.

Metro North March 29th 10:36PM



This big fat sloppy guy in sweat pants sitting across the aisle from me just opened his briefcase and it is full of balloons. Not inflated ones of course. You could probably only fit one or two in the average briefcase. They are the the long balloon animal constructing type. I hope this guy is not a clown. If so John Wayne Gacy is alive and well and commuting from CT.
Wait this hot girl eating a banana just got on and she sat next to Gacy instead of me. I can't be that repulsive. Am I an a Fellini picture? Maybe a midget riding a pony and a gigantic woman with enormous cone shaped breasts will get on at 125th.